I don’t know if I will ever “officially” coach a team, as I think I have so much to yet to learn, but I know that I have already picked up a few things from the amount of games that I have been fortunate enough to have had some form of participation in.
I’ve certainly come a long way from the days where I would refuse to play a game if I didn’t have a mathematical chance of winning. I was so competitive growing up that I would refuse to play games when I didn’t think I would be able to compete. It didn’t matter whether it was a game of Scrabble with family or a pick up game of baseball with friends, if I thought I would lose I would find any way I could not to play the game.
This meant that I did not play much as a kid, because I was not athletically gifted. Not only was I always the last one picked in gym class, but I often would forget my gym clothes at home or just choose to sit out whenever the teacher would allow it in order to avoid the embarrassment of losing. I think all my gym teachers had it in for me now that I think back, because they never minded when I sat out during basketball because it gave the others more playing time, but they would always insist I play during Dodgeball when they and I both knew that I was the main target. It did not matter how many times I was hit during the game either, play would still continue without me being eliminated, because each hit was deemed “illegal” by the teacher just so play could continue until the bell.
Despite my lack of athletic success, here are some of the things I have learned along the way.
1. Losing games doesn’t make you a loser.
Despite what I had believed most of my life, the above simply is not true. Lots of factors can affect the outcome of a game, and quite often luck can play the biggest part in whether you ultimately win or lose.
2. You can’t always control the outcome of games, but you can control the amount of effort you put in and your reaction to the outcome.
The most important lesson you can learn is to always try your best, and to show the proper attitude after a game. If you can learn to be a gracious winner and avoid being a poor loser, you will not only make the game much more enjoyable for all involved, but you’ll find in the end that you will enjoy it much more yourself and make many lifelong friendships.
3. Winning isn’t everything.
I don’t believe in the “everyone is a winner” mantra that is so prevalent in youth sports today. Ultimately, there is a winner and loser in every game, and it is important that we teach kids to recognize and accept this fact and not try to sugarcoat it to them. It’s more important to teach kids to congratulate the winner and let them have their moment of praise, than to tell everyone they are all winners and the scores don’t matter. As hard as it is sometimes, I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure the winning team is given their due. It was not easy for me to play,”We Are the Champions” for the opposing team when they had just defeated our hometown team during the Juvenile OMHA Championships in our own arena, but it was the right thing to do.
4. Your playing career does not need to end.
Okay, so you were not drafted into the OHL at 16, or the NHL at 18, and maybe you weren’t even good enough to play on the best recreational team at 35. No matter your age or skill level, you can still find a place to keep active and get enjoyment out of the sports and activities you loved as a kid. Even if one day your health prevents you from an active playing role (whether temporary or permanently), you can always find a way to keep involved as volunteers are always in dire need to fulfill roles from coaching and administration to making sure that everyone can get to and from the games. You can always find a way to be a good team player even once your playing days are done.
5. Sports isn’t everything.
While sports can be an important part of every healthy lifestyle (and should be), ultimately there are more important things in life, such as religion and family that deserve your attention. Ideally, you will find ways to incorporate all of these things together such as having your family involved in sport with you and by professing and living out your personal faith and having it guide you while you participate, but this may not always be possible and you may need to take time away from the game to deal with those things that truly matter on occasion.
As my involvement continues, so does my knowledge and respect for the game and its participants. Hopefully, I will be able to continue to share what I have learned with you in future posts.
Yours In Sport,
Dish
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May 19, 2011 Lessons From A Loser
I don’t know if I will ever “officially” coach a team, as I think I have so much to yet to learn, but I know that I have already picked up a few things from the amount of games that I have been fortunate enough to have had some form of participation in.
I’ve certainly come a long way from the days where I would refuse to play a game if I didn’t have a mathematical chance of winning. I was so competitive growing up that I would refuse to play games when I didn’t think I would be able to compete. It didn’t matter whether it was a game of Scrabble with family or a pick up game of baseball with friends, if I thought I would lose I would find any way I could not to play the game.
This meant that I did not play much as a kid, because I was not athletically gifted. Not only was I always the last one picked in gym class, but I often would forget my gym clothes at home or just choose to sit out whenever the teacher would allow it in order to avoid the embarrassment of losing. I think all my gym teachers had it in for me now that I think back, because they never minded when I sat out during basketball because it gave the others more playing time, but they would always insist I play during Dodgeball when they and I both knew that I was the main target. It did not matter how many times I was hit during the game either, play would still continue without me being eliminated, because each hit was deemed “illegal” by the teacher just so play could continue until the bell.
Despite my lack of athletic success, here are some of the things I have learned along the way.
1. Losing games doesn’t make you a loser.
Despite what I had believed most of my life, the above simply is not true. Lots of factors can affect the outcome of a game, and quite often luck can play the biggest part in whether you ultimately win or lose.
2. You can’t always control the outcome of games, but you can control the amount of effort you put in and your reaction to the outcome.
The most important lesson you can learn is to always try your best, and to show the proper attitude after a game. If you can learn to be a gracious winner and avoid being a poor loser, you will not only make the game much more enjoyable for all involved, but you’ll find in the end that you will enjoy it much more yourself and make many lifelong friendships.
3. Winning isn’t everything.
I don’t believe in the “everyone is a winner” mantra that is so prevalent in youth sports today. Ultimately, there is a winner and loser in every game, and it is important that we teach kids to recognize and accept this fact and not try to sugarcoat it to them. It’s more important to teach kids to congratulate the winner and let them have their moment of praise, than to tell everyone they are all winners and the scores don’t matter. As hard as it is sometimes, I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure the winning team is given their due. It was not easy for me to play,”We Are the Champions” for the opposing team when they had just defeated our hometown team during the Juvenile OMHA Championships in our own arena, but it was the right thing to do.
4. Your playing career does not need to end.
Okay, so you were not drafted into the OHL at 16, or the NHL at 18, and maybe you weren’t even good enough to play on the best recreational team at 35. No matter your age or skill level, you can still find a place to keep active and get enjoyment out of the sports and activities you loved as a kid. Even if one day your health prevents you from an active playing role (whether temporary or permanently), you can always find a way to keep involved as volunteers are always in dire need to fulfill roles from coaching and administration to making sure that everyone can get to and from the games. You can always find a way to be a good team player even once your playing days are done.
5. Sports isn’t everything.
While sports can be an important part of every healthy lifestyle (and should be), ultimately there are more important things in life, such as religion and family that deserve your attention. Ideally, you will find ways to incorporate all of these things together such as having your family involved in sport with you and by professing and living out your personal faith and having it guide you while you participate, but this may not always be possible and you may need to take time away from the game to deal with those things that truly matter on occasion.
As my involvement continues, so does my knowledge and respect for the game and its participants. Hopefully, I will be able to continue to share what I have learned with you in future posts.
Yours In Sport,
Dish
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